Funniest quotes.

First contest. Say some funny quotes. funniest one wins. if you dont understand that the gtfo. Up to 10 entries allowed.

mine:

My shotgun hasn't been used in a while. You look like a nice target.
Tennis Players have fuzzy balls.
The fastest way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!
3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.
Beer: making woman look better since 1965.
Remember my name – You’ll be moaning it later.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service -- Girls: No Shirt, No Charge.

I'm gonna unscrew your head and take a sh*t down your neck!

Ikana General wrote:

I'm gonna unscrew your head and take a sh*t down your neck!

remember, up to ten entries allowed

1. I'll cut you, man! I'll cut you so bad, you...you gonna wish I never cut you so bad!

2. I want to meet the man that hit that *points to hot, female doctor* so he can hit that *points to hand in high-five position.*

3. I'll cut off your balls and shove em up your ass, so that when you take a sh*t, you'll sh*t on your balls!

4. Necromancy; this isn't what your mother meant when she told you to "make some friends!"

5. "If you poke me in the eyes, I'm going to kick you in the balls!"
"What balls, foo?!...Wait a minute!"

6. Hi, Burger King? I'd like a cheeseburger and a large fry. Oh, and do you sell pants?

7. Seen on a billboard: "Are you an adult and can't read? Dial 1-800-..."

8. "What's that smell?"
"Huh? Oh, that's my cologne, Cannabi for Men!"
(If you don't get that one, let me explain: cannabis is the technical term for marijuana. And I didn't misspell that, either. He said Cannabi.)

9. Oh, bloody hell; I'm a woman!

10. "Is it cold in here?"
"Nope, just really small."


John, I don't like the way this forum is going.

We made a commitment to be family friendly, and I think we need to stick to that.
There's no need for this forum to be so dirty.
Yes, we can give warning that this forum is not appropriate for children, but we can't keep them out. If parents see their children reading these obscene posts, they will most likely ban their child from ever visiting us again.

Therefore, I am asking everyone to use discretion in their posts. We will give leniency, but ridiculously obscene posts WILL have you answering to ME. And trust me, you don't want that to happen.

If you go over the edge and repeatedly break the rules, your privileges for this forum will be REVOKED. And we DO have the ability to ban members from specific forums, so do NOT test us.

I think this would fit best in an announcement...

Neo wrote:

John, I don't like the way this forum is going.

We made a commitment to be family friendly, and I think we need to stick to that.
There's no need for this forum to be so dirty.
Yes, we can give warning that this forum is not appropriate for children, but we can't keep them out. If parents see their children reading these obscene posts, they will most likely ban their child from ever visiting us again.

Therefore, I am asking everyone to use discretion in their posts. We will give leniency, but ridiculously obscene posts WILL have you answering to ME. And trust me, you don't want that to happen.

If you go over the edge and repeatedly break the rules, your privileges for this forum will be REVOKED. And we DO have the ability to ban members from specific forums, so do NOT test us.

I think this would fit best in an announcement...

ok. and by the way, not to be rude or anything but you couldnt ban me or anything. i have more power than you. but im pretty sure you were talking to everybody else. so to everybody else: Me, Neo, Koulatio, and Zoltar have total control over you. but we wont use it unless its needed

I wouldn't ban you.
I would ban other idiots.
You were correct; I was talking to everyone else.

If you were doing something iffy, I'd talk to you.

I think we should put a 3 quote limit. The guy with 10 quotes is more likely to win over the guy with 2.


And, my quote:
A converstation is like a miniskirt. Short enough to pertain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.

this thread i think was just a bad idea to start with. what would be required? lock or delete?

Give ya a hint.

"Pulls out padlock"

Didn't like my quote?

Oh, Koulatio, you silly, you!
XD